If you had a choice, would you rather lose your sense of Smell or Taste? Smell to me, is not a problem. It’s rather nice because I don’t smell the litter boxes. But, Taste, is quite annoying! I have to use a lot of spice to Taste anything and I feel as if I am eating more for energy now, than enjoyment.
I have been watching some movies/films, lately and the most recent is ‘The Boy In The Striped Pajamas’. While this is not a true account, it’s an excellent movie of what could have happened. It takes place during the Holocaust and a Soldier has to move his family closer to a Concentration Camp where he works. His young son has no friends and likes to explore. Needless to say, his son discovers the fence of the Concentration Camp and befriends a little boy his age who is inside. They wind up playing through and over the fence without touching it. However, they both really want to meet in person. I won’t share the ending with you. It’s an awesomely, moving yet terrible movie, in one. And it makes you look at the Concentration Camp from children’s perspectives. I really hope you will watch it. You can find it on YouTube.
One of my goals in moving here was to get a car. I know what I want, I just need to save for the Down. My top 3 choices are the Smart For Two, The Scion IQ or A Volkswagen Bug. I have had 2 out of 3 of those and the Smart is my favorite! … I need a small car because it makes me feel comfortable….I have found the Smart for $5,000 with reasonable payments. I just need to save money for the Down. So, that will hopefully be my goal in the next few months. Wish me luck.
It is a beautiful day, today and I feel back to semi-normal. I think a lot of my headaches as of late could be attributed to getting rid of my car. While I have been focusing on buying a few fun items, as well as necessities..like food, and having it all delivered. My brain is still having a hard time adjusting. It didn’t help that the stupid delivery girl couldn’t find my house today and wanted me to walk to the clubhouse before finally asking the manager how to get here.
Anyway, since we have finished with Daniel, I am back to working on my Boundaries Workbook, which keeps me on track and in the right frame of mind.
In other news, I took up smoking again.
HA! Don’t worry, they are the only things I’ll smoke….Dad died of Emphysema so .. I do remember why I quit smoking these, though. Why the hell are they made with Beef Gelatin? I won’t even get into what Gelatin is made of. But hey, I’ve got them now and sometimes it’s okay to eat crap.
Yesterday was one of my harder days. I am not going to say I was overreacting despite the fact Sis 2 said “It’s just a car and not your health.” She was My car and the only car I had. I remember how proud I was when I got her and tried my damndest to hold on. Anyway, she’s gone to Carvana to be a “Blessing” to someone else.
I still want to cry, a bit. I don’t really feel strong yet, but, I am working on it. After all, it’s done and the decision can’t be changed.
Time to focus on moving forward and life getting better.
Some people don’t understand, but, some of us weren’t raised on busses or public transportation. I think I have been on a bus maybe twice in my life and it’s a bit scary to me.
I pray this is the financial decision I needed to get me on track. I also pray God gives me peace in moving forward.
Thanks for reading and understanding. It really means a lot.
*Reminder- If you are a business I am not interested in, don’t have a normal type profile picture, or someone along those lines I have not communicated with before; I Will Delete Your Following! Again and Again until you stay away.
I was going to walk to the mailbox today, but, my head said No. I live at the back of the park from the mailboxes, so it is a bit of a distance…Anyway, we had a severe windstorm with sprinkling and I probably would have gotten caught in it.
During this, there was a knock on the door and some people from a local church were passing out Food Boxes. They didn’t care what church we went to, and even asked if we needed prayer. They were from Assemblies-Of-God and the box contained Butter,Sour Cream,Milk,Potatoes,Onions,Carrots,Cheese,Chicken Meatballs and Chicken Legs. While I may not believe the same as them; this is seriously how God wants you to behave and help your community.
Nothing to say about Valentine’s Day. It hasn’t meant much in the last 4-5 years. When your alone, it’s not the same and my memory this year will be my car going away. They are picking her up tomorrow afternoon.
I talked to Carvana today who 3- wayed my finance company and will be picking up the car on Sunday. Despite the fact, it is the best decision; I have to admit the tears started and it will be hard to watch them drive her away.
This decision made me think a lot about where I am in life and how I got here. I have been lost and making a lot of bad decisions since my Divorce. Then, I was happy during my 2nd marriage, but his drug habit took precedence. I could go back over. and over on “If I hadnt..If I had never…If I had only..” ..which I thought about, this morning…but that helps nothing. The past is over and I need to keep moving forward.
The car is material. I still have my cats, food, health, and a roof over my head. This is a step in the right direction. I will get over this hurdle and things will get better.
This experience is also very humbling in that I didn’t want to date someone without a car. Now, look where I am?
But dating is the last thing on my mind. God’s got this and everything works in his time.
Mental stress and tiredness can wipe you out, physically. I watched J’s car get driven away and the movers load her stuff and take that away, too. I snuck a Goodbye card in her purse. I will miss her. She accepted me into her family, immediately and she has come through in time of need. She is at C’s tonight and her plane takes off tomorrow at ten.
I have also filled out the form for Carvana and my finance company is faxing them the Payoff Balance. This should take place, soon. Sometimes in life, you need to Sacrifice to get a head. J. had to Sacrifice her beautiful cats because her son-in-law is allergic.
I have no other option of getting a head. I can get another cheap car in the future, but this will help me save for a down payment to move away from here. It will be difficult for a bit, but I believe it will be a blessing in the long run. Although, it will be definitely sad to see my Blessing Beetle go.
In other news, Zorro will be meeting with an interested family soon. They don’t think he will be around much more then another year due to his medical issues.
Carvana will buy my car and give me enough to pay off the loan + extra $$.
While I hate the thought of getting rid of her. It’s under serious consideration:
I would not have $250 a month car payments. I would not have $130. a month insurance payments. I could save a money for a down payment to move and possibly get a loan within a year. If I get a cheaper used car from a private party, my insurance would be less and no payments. I don’t drive much anyway and most everything can be delivered.
Cons: I lose my beautiful, fun, convertible. If I need to go anywhere, I will have to take Uber, Lyft, Bus or ask a friend.
This is a big decision which I am praying on. Please share your thoughts.
I am also thinking of changing my bank. The Overdraft fees are killing me. Now they are charging after a certain time limit, with no warning.
Without the car payment, maybe I wouldn’t be late so much on the rest of it.
*Reminder- If you are a business I am not interested in or you don’t have a regular type profile picture and we haven’t talked, I Will delete you as a Follower. If you keep trying, I will keep deleting. I also will continue to post these reminders, as long as this continues.
Today was the last day for Moving Sale preparation and I even talked J into putting up Free Dog signs, to give Zorro a chance.
This is Zorro:
I, also bought a cute, Christmas Snowman Statue from J. that she almost didn’t sell to me. Don’t ask.
Anyway, while leaving Walgreens, I accidentally bumped the car behind me. Luckily, it’s a piece of shit car and I believe it is a very, minor dent. My car is fine. We exchanged insurance, blah, blah..plus, he and his mom were Christians so all was calm. Except, he didn’t have his License and just rattled off the info and he had to call his brother for the insurance info since it was his brothers car and it was wrong in the glovebox. Anyway, my insurance will cover it and I just pray my rates don’t spike much; if at all. Just as we are finishing up, a lady runs up to me saying, “That guy hit your car!” My car was parked at a slight angle with the emergency flashers on and some old guy backed into it, then drove off.
Once again, my car is fine..but the guy should have stopped. It’s the principle. Can you imagine if I had to call the insurance company back with a separate claim? You know, I named my car ‘Blessing’ and she really is. Maybe that’s why she is not getting damaged. Lol
Anyway, it’s only 7 something, but tomorrow is the first day of the sale and I have to get up early.
Please pray Zorro gets a new home, C. and I have patience, and J. sells a lot!
Oh, and my BFF and family Finally received their Christmas presents after a month a half. Thanks USPS.
My family is interesting. Usually my sisters and I are at odds over something..or waiting for the next blow up. So, it’s a nice surprise when good develops.
My eldest sister texted that she and her husband want to pay for my meds as a Birthday present like they did last year. Apparently, she also brought the idea up to my brother who might help, also. Needless to say, my meds will be paid up for a while.
In sad family news, we just learned my aunt is dying and on hospice. She is 92 years old and lives in Washington where my cousins are.
In other news, I found a form for Lot Rent Subsidy Assistance which I am going to apply for. Then, I won’t have to worry about moving until I pay the car off. My eldest sister thinks I should just get rid of the car and/or trade it in for something with cheaper payments. But, that’s not so easy when you owe more then the car is worth and your credit is poor.