My True Love had money but, he was quite eccentric and a terrible gift giver. Let me explain:
On the first day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me..A Partridge In A Pear Tree. Now, I don’t eat pears and know nothing about these birds. Since. he neglected to get a cage, the bird will have to stay in the tree.
The 2nd day, he gave me 2 Turtle Doves. Now, these are sweet, cooing type birds but once again he forgot a cage so I hope they eat pears, too.
The 3rd day, he brought Three French Hens. They were walking around clucking and pecking at everything!
The 4th day, he gave me Four Calling Birds. Oh, they call all right. It sounds like the whole tree is making a racket.
The 5th Day, he gave me 5 Golden Rings. Gold is nice and all, but I told him I might have to cash those in to get bird seed and cages.
The 6th day, he came home with Six Geese a Laying and Laying they are! The eggs are huge and we were collecting a lot. When they weren’t laying, they were simply laying underfoot.
The 7th day, I received 7 Swans A Swimming. The problem? We didn’t have a pond. So much for bathing for a bit. It’s small so they couldn’t swim very much.
The 8th day came around and he brought home 7 Maids A Milking. Well, he said they’d been milking. I told him I needed them to clean. We have nothing to milk, here.
The 9th day, he came home with Nine Ladies Dancing. We didn’t even have music playing. I told them to go outside and dance for the birds.
The 10th day, my True Love brought home 10 Lords A Leaping. What the heck? They were banned outside with the birds and the weird dancing ladies.
The 11th day, he came home with 11 Pipers Piping. Was that supposed to be romantic? I am a Migraine Sufferer. Outside they go with the other noise makers.
Finally, it’s the 12th day of Christmas, but alas, no peace for me. He came home with 12 Drummers Drumming!
Needless to say, I ended up with one Head A Throbbing, One Divorce Impending and 12 Policemen Arresting due to noise violations and Covid19 Crowd Violations.
When I left, I kept the Turtle Doves and The Golden Rings.